A Very Nearly Tea

I have been sort of teaching the kids German for a long time. Or rather, I have been feeling guilty about not teaching them German as much as I should for a very long time.

Mouse has always been sort of interested. Maybe that is related to my sort of commitment. But she's never been all that motivated. She plays the games, sings the songs and otherwise doesn't really seem all that into the whole thing.

But suddenly she is. She has mapped out an aggressive school plan, and German language and history is featured highly. She has found a website with German sounds, grammar and vocabulary that she has been spending quite a bit of time on, and keeps asking me how to pronounce things. She's been chanting the bits of the songs she remembers and bookmarked a history of Germany I showed her. I think she even started reading it, but the printer is acting up so she couldn't print it.

I was pleased, if a bit baffled, by the sudden intense interest.

But then she showed me her notebook she is making. It is all decorated with locks and keys and "keep out" type messages. Odd connection, I thought, until her triumphant announcement after I looked over all the pronunciation keys and vocabulary she had copied.

When I'm all done, you won't be able to hide anything from me! I know what you guys are talking about and birthday presents and EVERYTHING!

Yep. We long ago had to leave off spelling things to each other. But Mouse is determined to take the ability to just say it in German away as well.

Over the weekend, we took my parents out to see our new property. The one that is really ours, complete with signed paperwork, keys and bills addressed to us! Anyway, the kids took off to explore. Dismayed at the fact we didn't have keys to all the padlocks and thus still couldn't get into one of the sheds, they determined to take matters into their own hands.

Mouse found a ladder in one of the barns and dragged it over to the window. They all climbed up and one by one dropped inside to explore. Model teamwork, it was.

They, of course, were thrilled with their success. All but one, that is. From inside the dark shed, my dad heard one, small little four year old voice.

"Hey! How are we going to get out of here?"

Good question, little Bug.

I have three daughters, one husband: He has a lot of work to do.



I'll get a black pair. Come to think about it maybe a black shirt too. Yes, yes....all black!

Hardly was the word spoken and Bear darted off to return with the five quart barrel of ice cream. "Not yet," my husband told him. Cause we weren't finished with dinner, yet.

See, we were having one of our classic, multi-course hodge podge of mismatched foods thrown together by my husband to appease the children's stomachs. A round of texas toast followed by a round of fries followed by a round of whatever vegetable we have around. Until the children no longer seem interested in food.

Seating for these meals is fancy, too. My husband sits in a chair holding a bowl and all the children stand about him, helping themselves from the communal dish.

Less dishes.

My master of fine dining says of his elaborate serving methods. I tell ya, the man thinks of everything.

And somewhere in there Bear heard ice cream.

Put it on the counter so it can soften a little.

My husband said. As you can see, delivering the next course to "the chair" is a perfectly reasonable thing to do in this house. At least when daddy's the cook. And think how he must have felt at the thought of just digging into the ice cream pail while daddy held it! At any rate, maybe the reason for leaving it on the counter shouldn't have been revealed, but next thing we know, there's a clicking sound coming from the kitchen. The click click click of the stove's electric ignition.

Bear had set the plastic tub of ice cream on the stove and was intent on speeding up the warming up.

Fried ice cream, anyone?

1. After pondering a bit about what to do for Mother's Day, I stumbled across the big plans over at Michael's to lure welcome us into the store while they entertain our wee cherubs with a craft meant for this special holiday in the life of every child. I let my children vote on which event they most wanted to attend and the vote was unanimous: the Saturday beading event. Which leads me to the first thing I won't be getting for Mother's Day:

See, Mouse realized this beading event wasn't simply stringing "I Love You" on a band with alphabet beads. No. This was "real" jewelry that someone might actually want to wear for some other reason than "my kid made it."

I can always make you a card, mom.

She said as she claimed her project. Young impressionable Bug followed suit. And the alphabet beads look better on Bear and L.E. Fant anyway.

So no jewelry.

2. My kids are all for taking me out to eat.

But moms are free at Valentino's on Mother's Day. We can afford to take you out.

Yeah, and who's going to pay for their hungry little mouths? And who's going to be pulling her hair out after trying to corral five children in a line the length of the Missouri while listening to "Barry, party of nineteen. Smith, party of twelve?" And knowing that these tables are not going to be turning very quickly?

So no dining out.

3. And actually, you can go ahead and scratch off breakfast in bed. (Please no one try that again.)

4. As well as taking over the preparation of any meals. Voluntarily, at least.

5. I read somewhere that Americans are expected to spend over a billion dollars in personal services such as spa treatments. A spa treatment is something I could maybe go for. Except I'd probably go crazy trying to sit still and do nothing that long. Not sure I like the idea of someone scrubbing off the top layer of skin and replacing it with mud. It's cute on this guy.


But not so much on me. And a pedicure? Eek. There's a reason I don't wear flip flops or sandals.

So no spa treatment.

6. Then there is this wild notion flying around out there that mothers get to sleep in this one day every year. Ha! This little guy...


...innocent as he may seem, will in all likelihood be sure that not only do I not get to sleep in, but that I don't really get much sleep between bedtime and his first breakfast. He's just like a hobbit, he is, with is first and second breakfasts, followed by tensies and elevensies...

So no sleeping in.

7. Shannon of Rocks in My Dryer has a quick little list of things to avoid getting your mom for her big day. I'm not really in danger of ending up with any of it, but I take issue with the "if it requires plugging in, don’t buy it" rule. I love things that plug in. Especially this.

It plugs in. And it has way cool attachments. You know, for all that sausage I've never gotten around to making. Who can go without a mixer you can make sausage with? I'll take it for Mother's Day, my birthday, Christmas and even Valentine's Day since red seems to be the in color. One gift to cover all of this year's holidays. What a deal.

And it is unlikely I'll be getting a mixer, or anything else requiring an outlet.

8. I did recently buy a book: The Frogs and Toads of North America. It even came with a CD of frog songs. You know that was all about me and had absolutely nothing to do with homeschooling. I could take the "Did you really need it?" without any further comment as a Mother's Day gift, but then again, I ordered it. Not that wives don't occasionally order themselves presents on their spouses' behalf.

So, yeah. No books, either.

9. Someone on craigslist says goats make a great Mother's Day present. Now I could definitely picture a couple of these running around our new property.

But while hubby seems mildly receptive to my banter about chickens, geese and fruit trees, he is of yet rather uninspired by the thought of goats. Except when he is looking at the amount of weeds and brush that needs to be cleared. The moment soon passes, but I hardly count that as a hint at goats any time soon.

So no goats.

10. Slugs. I can say with a certain degree of, well, certainty, that I shan't be getting any slugs. Or rousing games of Pin the Tail on the Slug. Or slug cards. Or slug posters. I may get some dandelions, but I won't be getting any slugs. The crown is cool, though. Maybe I should institute that as a new tradition to remind me that breaking up squabbles, flushing toilets after other people, and closing the same drawers seventeen times a day does have a much higher purpose.

One that isn't so focused on me.

God Bless and Happy Mother's Day!

For more Ten on the Tenth posts, check out Life at 7000 Feet!

1) The Music

I actually was sort of enjoying Tainted Love. But then someone had to come in and turn on the CD player, drowning out the Y's offerings from the 80s. And some guy wailing out "Shake your booty" hit just a little too close to home for this mother of a newborn.

2) The Clothes

Unless I want to exercise within my own private sauna, I am forced to shed my protective outer layer of clothing. Not that anyone would ever look at me and think, "I bet there is a perfect size eight hiding under all those layers." I'm just not prone to accentuating my, uh, shapeliness.

3) The Other People

If I'm going to be subjected to Kool and the Gang's Celebration, please let it happen at home where I can sing along in my enthusiastic and mocking way. Celebrate good times? With my booty shaking on those stair step things? Not happening.

4) The Baby

Look here, young man. I know you are too young to understand, but you were my ticket out. Sure, I hoped you would sleep for twenty minutes or so while I got in the first part of a workout. I wasn't expecting a whole hour. . . nor was my poor body. It hasn't done much other than cart you around for the last six weeks. Longer, even. But the one time I expected you to cry. . wanted you to cry. . .you left me hanging.


5) The Clothes, take two

My oh my do people dress up to go to the Y. From the trainers to the coordinated spandex suit (complete with a smart little matching jacket to throw on as they leave), these people know how to sweat in style. I, on the other hand, am left in a seven year old stained T-shirt from a neighborhood clean up project and a pair of sweats that aren't entirely sure they want to stay on.

6) The Televisions

Strolling along on the treadmill is a nice enough activity, and I'd kind of like to look out at the geese swimming in the little pond below. Instead, the view is almost completely obstructed by a wall of televisions. So I watched Martha Stewart, some celebrity baby show and one of those People's Court type shows. All at the same time. A very mind-numbing experience, but I did learn one thing. The idle chit chat on shows like Martha Stewart goes from mildly amusing while listening to it, to a tedious, how-do-these-people-make-it-on-television sort of boring when reading the closed captioning. Ugh.

7) The Baby, take two

Okay, never mind that betrayal bit. He's my baby! And about the time Martha was gluing a comb to her rooster, I realized this was the longest I had ever been away from him. My baby! Why can't a car seat sit in front of a treadmill? I'd happily stare at him all afternoon, ignoring all three television shows and the geese in the pond. I just want my baby!

8) The Scale

Suddenly it gets competitive. There are numbers and goals. And tortilla soup. And I can't forget that I was in this same place last year until I found out I was expecting a little bundle. I had such great success. Not only did I completely dominate that tortilla soup thing, I managed to gain four pounds the first two weeks. That was before the soup and before the pregnancy even. Not terribly encouraging, that cold metal contraption in the changing room. Come to think of it, was it the scale humming out The Violent Femmes in that low, almost seductive, tone?

"Yes I think I want to hurt you. Yes I think I want to make you cry..."

Did I mention the music?

The National Park Service performs an important role in preserving some of our wild areas for human enjoyment and conservation needs. Apparently, it also protects a small area to preserve our first amendment rights.

It is not a very big area, and if anyone were to take the park service up on their offer to host a demonstration, it would spill out onto the street pretty quickly. The speed limit here is only five miles per hour, anyway, so it is unlikely anyone would get hurt. I would add this to my sidebar as a nice reminder if it were not for one thing. I do not know if you can read it in this shot, but here is a close up:

How can you require a permit to use the first amendment?

If you want your child socialized... is a little older, but is by far the most popular post I have had (not counting the coverage of the Busekros case). I thought of it today because we are about to embark on a 15 hour journey...not counting stops. If that amount of time sitting elbow to elbow with your siblings does not develop your abilities at getting along with others, I don't know what will.

If you want your child socialized, you will have to send him to school. While he is getting ready, you'll have to pack his lunch.

When he gets to school, the children will probably stare at him because he isn't wearing the same brand of jeans.

Math will probably be review for him, so he'll know all the answers. The children will call him "calculator" and the teacher will give him extra worksheets. He'll probably learn that it is better to stay quiet and pretend not to know the answer.

Halfway through the morning, he'll start to get bored. He will probably begin to kick his legs, tip his chair and tap his pencil. The teacher will have to move him to the seat next to her desk. He'll ask when it will be time for break and she'll remind him to raise his hand. He'll raise his hand and she'll tell him it's time for silent reading. The children will probably giggle and he will just stare at his book.

Finally, it will be time for lunch. The teacher will remind them to keep their hands at their sides, to stay in line and not to talk. They probably won't be allowed to talk at lunch, either.

Your son will probably sit next to a girl he recognizes from church. She will smile and another boy will whisper to them. Your son may learn a rhyme or two and possibly some new words. She may blush and he will forget not to talk. He probably will shout. The lunch aide will take him to the office.

While he is in the office, you will probably get a phone call. You will find out your son does not know how to interact with his peers, is a disruptive influence and has difficulty concentrating. They will probably ask you if he has ADHD and recommend you take him to a doctor.

When it is time to pick him up, you will probably find him standing alone. He will tell you school was fine, but will refuse to answer any questions. He'll probably complain of a stomach ache. He'll probably have too much homework to have time to play with his friends.

And chances are, if you want him to learn social skills, you'll have to pull him out of school.

Inspired by that great children's book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (in case you didn't notice).

And if you have a post you would like to share, please share it in my Mr. Linky here.

socialization, homeschooling, public school, homework

I suppose it only makes sense to share insights into how to drive away readers just after posting on how to increase unhappiness in your homeschool. Normally, I try to space out my attempts at humor because I am terribly used to being taken too seriously. But Yvonne from Grow Your Writing Business tagged me with this, and I shan't keep her waiting any longer.

Web 2.0 is an interesting concept , born out of some old meeting with a bunch of people who wanted to increase the accessibility of the internet. At least that is what I have gathered. Principled Discovery, on the other hand, has always been about looking back to the foundations of ideas. Older is always better, so here I am to take you back to Web 1.1 with a variety of ways to make your online existence a little more stressful and a little less productive.

1. Subscribe to the feeds of at least five different blogs giving blogging advice.

Implement ALL of their tips. Full or partial feed? Blog entries or articles? Stats public or private? These three issues alone should be enough to keep you too busy messing with details to actually have time to write anything at all.

2. Make as many hurdles for potential commenters as possible.

The best ones are the ones that make you create a complete profile and then wait for email confirmation before you can comment. Couple this with indecipherable captcha codes and you will never be bothered by other people's comments again. (There are captcha codes and there are captcha codes...most I navigate fine, but there are a few that I just enter something hoping for something more legible the next time around. Test to find the least decipherable ones out there.)

3. Use an 8 point font.

Or smaller.

4. Make your blog as visually unwelcoming as possible.

Low contrast colors and bright neon both work well at straining the eyes of any potential readers. Remember to never ever hit the enter key. Ideally, your entries should go on for twelve hundred words or more with no images, emphasis or line breaks that might draw your reader through to the end.

5. Disable right click.

Force readers to leave your blog when they follow a link. Especially if you are hosting a carnival.

6. Never show yourself.

Do not respond to commenters. Do not show your sense of humor. Do not develop your own personal style. This can be very difficult to master, but try to make your blog a clone of another, more popular site. After all, it worked for them.

7. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, proofread.

In a well-written entry, anyone may forgive an error or two. The goal is to make spelling, punctuation and grammar actually get in the way of understanding the main idea. That takes extra talent, but is well worth the effort since it is guaranteed to limit the number of people who tackle the entry.

8. Consider your readers first.

Nevermind what is important to you or what you want to write about. Try to ascertain what your readers want to read and write about that. Take frequent polls and switch gears as often as necessary. This helps keep your blog from ever really becoming your own and ensures that you never accidentally develop a voice on the internet.

9. Spam.

Spam is a unique pet peeve of most bloggers. Even if you are not selling viagra, you can come across very spammy. Here are the key principles:

The comment should be irrelevant to the entry. "Nice entry, will bookmark." Is a good standby.

The blog should be one you have never commented on before (unless you have spammed it before).

This works even better if it is outside your niche.

Leave a few links with a specific request to visit your site.

Blogging is about conversation, so the key is really to make sure that your comment and linked entry in no way actually contribute to the conversation either with the entry or with the blogger. It should be solely about traffic for you.

10. Is she talking about me?

Ask this every time you read an entry where people air their pet peeves. Take it very personally. Compose a long entry about why it is you do the very thing that this person is complaining about. Do not consider the pecularities and purpose of your blog in the decisions you make regarding it, only what other people say. Get defensive. Never for a moment consider that the advice might not be relevant to you, especially if you have a personal blog.

I am curious about what the following people have to say about effective ways to drive away readers and hope they will find time to respond:

Blogging Basics 101, MamaBlogga, Blogging 101, Blogging for Parents

Feel free to add to the discussion as well. And seriously, don't take it seriously. I actually do read some blogs which "violate" one or more of the above but it suits the purpose of their blog.

School is well underway for most of us, and we are far enough into the year to begin feeling behind. Stressed, we begin looking over the fence at the Jones', where the grass is always greener and the children never whine. Meeting with other homeschoolers brings a mixture of encouragement and feelings of inadequacy as we begin to second guess those plans which looked so good on paper. If this describes you, you are off to a great start. After all, there is nothing mankind desires more or works harder for than misery. A brief survey of world literature reveals our fascination with sin, danger and tragedy. If we cannot experience it personally, we do so vicariously through what have become the classics. Even the quest for happiness robs our happiness in the end as Paul Watzlawick so aptly noted in his book, Anleitung zum Unglücklichsein (Guide to Unhappiness). To help you along the way to maximizing your unhappiness, I have written the following guide. Some of these steps may come naturally to you; others may require practice. With diligence, however, anyone can achieve the unhappiness they so earnestly desire.

1. Copy the public schools.

Buy desks, set them up in neat rows facing the front of the room and invest in a pointer. Even if you have only one child, make him raise his hand to answer questions. Schedule restroom breaks. Let the clock dictate your every move. Giving a toddler a megaphone is a good stand in for a disruptive PA system.

2. Choose your curriculum based on what everyone in your homeschool group is using.

Better yet, find a stranger online and ask her. Don't consider your temperament or your child's interests. After all, these other people have way more experience than you. Remind yourself of that continually when things are not going well.


3. Contact every curriculum publisher.

Make sure they have your correct address and get on as many mailing lists as possible. When you first get those glossy catalogs, you will think that this is having the opposite effect than what is intended here. The texture, the smell and all the neat stuff! But then you realize just how much stuff is out there. And how much stuff you do not have. There is always one more book and one more manipulative set to squeeze out of any budget. After all, you only have one chance to educate your children properly. Never let yourself become content with what you already have.

4. Make a clear distinction between school and life.

Do not consider the educational value of trips to the zoo, visits with grandparents and vacations. The more narrowly you define education, the more likely you are to avoid spontaneous "experiences" in favor of "the book." This also helps maximize the stress of wondering if you are doing enough.

5. Take everything personally.

Everyone has a bad day now and again. Even children. Use this to its fullest potential by taking these opportunities to question your parenting. When your child says, "This is boring," consider it a direct reflection on your character and personality. Think what it will be like when they talk to their bosses that way. Wonder what your homeschooling friends would say. Most importantly, try to isolate where you have gone wrong as a parent and fret over the permanent damage you must have caused.

This is intended only as a cursory introduction to maintaining general unhappiness in your homeschool. There are many other proven techniques for making yourself miserable and they all progress rather naturally to making those around you unhappy as well. For those of you who are more seasoned, or have just caught on quickly to the art of creating unhappiness, please feel free to add your own suggestions. I will add links to anyone who shares a proven technique for increasing the level of unhappiness in our homes. Even if it is not specific to homeschooling.

Misery loves company.

Two bloggers are so on top of things, they wrote their posts before me:

Yvonne of Grow Your Writing Business shares insight into how to kill your blog. (I'll be adding my own thoughts to the meme this weekend.)

Denise of Freelancing Journey lets you in on the secrets of failing at business.

homeschooling, humor

The most frequently asked question I receive from polite strangers has nothing to do with socialization and everything to do with latent fears regarding parenting. "How do you do it all?" They ask as my daughter bags groceries and I pay. I revel in the praise which comes as a welcome distraction from the questioning glances I receive shopping at one o'clock on a school day with kids in tow. Because I believe that these concerns about parenting ability actually underly most people's misgivings of homeschooling, I have decided to reveal my secrets.

Principle I: Delegate

There is no way one person can humanly get everything done that needs to be done in the care and education of four children on a daily basis. It is therefore imperative to learn to delegate. Teaching children to do simple chores is a necessity, not only for your own sanity but for their development. Here is my two year old sampling some cookie dough she and her sister made.


The eight year old may occasionally confuse teaspoons and tablespoons, resulting in some pretty salty pancakes, but that is where the taste tester come in. What stays in the two year-old's mouth is probably edible, unless it is a toy, bird seed or some random thing she has pulled out from under the bed. For the life of me I cannot figure out why toddlers, who stick everything in their mouths, are such notoriously picky eaters.

They even did a pretty good job at cleaning up after themselves.


The picture does not really show the flour and flecks of dough, but it does answer another mystery. The worst cup of tea of my life. Take a closer look:

An empty box of baking soda and an open sugar container. I think my taste tester has some 'splaining to do.

Principle II: Multi-task

Young boys have a peculiar knack for getting dirty. Really dirty. In fact, if you don't wash them once in awhile, they can be hard to recognize.

Now it is time to put some sibling rivalry and his affinity for making messes to work. While his sister chased him with the hose, I started a bath and a load of laundry. He then removed all of his extra clothing on the back porch and was carried to the bath. By the time he was done with his splash fest, we had another task to check off our list of chores. With the bathroom thoroughly soaked, all it needed was a good toweling off to be as spic and span as my bright little boy.


Principle III: Foster Independence

Young children are necessarily needy. And the more children you have, the more they all seem to need your attention at the same time. To ease the stress of being pulled in ten different directions at once, it is good to train your children to help themselves and each other as much as possible. Here is an example. Due to the small size of our house, we store most of our books in storage tubs, rotating them on a weekly basis. The rotations have slowed since their father was forced to Denver, however. My two year-old and my son decided that we needed to remedy this situation. Why bother mom? They have been raised to be independent, which I am sure is what possessed them to stand on top of the dog food bin to pull down a storage tub full of books.


You probably saw that coming. Fifty pounds of dog food and 200 books on the laundry room floor. This is where deep breathing, prayer and the self-control to just walk away come in. As well as the next principle.

Principle IV: Appreciate the little things

We all need our quiet place. And it is very good to go there before exploding. Especially when you are about to ground your two year old and four year old until their eighteenth birthdays for doing something they thought would be helpful. So take a deep breath and count to three.

One.



Two.



Three.


I bet you feel better now. It works for me every time. And simply cleaning up the mess was a much more reasonable consequence, don't you think?

Principle V: Everything is Educational

Life is bound to interrupt your school day now and again. Not nearly as often as the PA system in a public school, but it does have a way of cropping up on you. Before fretting too much at how far you are getting behind, remember that there is educational value to be found in everything. Whether it is a trip to the beach,


a torn toy,

or even just cleaning the laundry room while mom holds the baby and talks to the ceiling, there are lessons to be learned. And it is in this daily walk that we teach them the most about how to live and what is important.

homeschooling, parenting, education

Ian Lewis, UK minister for older people, has an interesting proposition for the public schools in Britain, something I think would be worthy to pursue here in the states.

'I would like to see older people having their lunch at a local school, acting as role models and mentors for the kids, and then perhaps local families "adopting" older people to tackle the scourge of loneliness and isolation,' he said. 'At lunchtime in every school in the country, why couldn't older people be sitting down with pupils and sharing lunch instead of doing it at an older person's lunch club or at home?' The Guardian

Rather than sitting in the institutionalized setting of the nursing home, separated from family, friends and community, they could eat lunch with the kids at school. After all, they a lot in common with children in the institutionalized setting of the public school, separated from family, friends and community. The potential benefits to both are obvious.

The elderly have the opportunity to share their values and experience with a younger generation, helping them to find purpose in their relationships. A sort of social continuity is shared, in which the elderly catch a glimpse of a future that will exist beyond them and children catch a glimpse of a past that existed before them. School children will have the opportunity to interact with people from diverse backgrounds and gain respect for the elderly. They also will have an opportunity at more individual attention, with older adults tutoring them in subjects they need assistance in.

Surrogate grandparents for children, surrogate grandchildren for the elderly. It is the next best thing to home.

The ending of the tradition of several generations of a family living near each other, and the scattering of families across the country, meant that 'older people are living in communities without any real family networks or support', said Lewis. 'This would be a way of making sure that people without families could feel part of a family as well as part of a community. That can make a real difference to our sense of wellbeing, and it doesn't happen a lot any more.' Ibid.

Tell me again why socialization is a problem for the homeschool? Mr. Lewis is absolutely correct about the break down of the family and the need for all of us to feel a part of a family and of a community. He offers a creative solution, and I commend him for that.

But in this solution, he highlights an inherent benefit of homeschooling, which for many of us goes well beyond the curriculum we choose. It is a lifestyle, one that tends to be family-focused. It allows and even encourages parents, grandparents, neighbors and friends to each share their unique perspectives, knowledge and experiences to further the education of the child. In the ideal, the homeschooled child is integrated into his family and community, and both the child and the community benefit from the relationship.

education, elderly, socialization, homeschooling

Thank you to all who voted for Principled Discovery Academy's tagline. How would this look painted on our homeschool wall?


The security guards are a nice touch. After all, someone has to keep these hooligans under control. Ironically, the stereotype fits in its own way. After all, if I wanted my children socialized, I'd have to send them to school. Right?

You can read the other choices here. Don't miss the comments. There were a few worthy write-in candidates, as well!

Update: If I ever decide to add a school song, I am definitely choosing one of these!

homeschool, homeschooling, socialization, humor

It's that time of year again. I just dropped off my paperwork for the state, and needed a name for our homeschool. Two years in a row, we have struggled with a name. For first grade, we were simply "Hanley Homeschool." Last year, you helped me in an online poll to discover a name. There was a nice selection of suggestions, but ultimately, you chose for us The George Bush Institute for the Standardization of Intellectual Output. I even came up with a mission statement. Obviously, that was all in fun (even if I did accidentally turn the paperwork in with an envelope on which I had jotted down all the names. Oops!)

This year we have settled on an actual name for our homeschool. We are the Principled Discovery Academy. My husband's idea, and I liked it. But we still need a tagline, so I thought (just to be fair) I'd play with some of my favorite homeschool stereotypes:


Please vote for your favorite, or feel free to add your own!

homeschooling, homeschool

With an introduction reminiscent of Gulliver's Travels, I was introduced to an absurd little island yesterday:

Welcome to another exciting adventure of Jonathan Gullible. As you may recall, we last left Jonathan Gullible on a remote Pacific Island after his boat was blown far off course by a terrific storm...

Eager to learn about the inhabitants of this island, Jonathan questions the natives about their seemingly bizarre customs. But are they so bizarre?

When the tortoise challenges the hare to a little competition to see who can gain the most customers in a week, it seems like an easy win for the energetic, efficient and friendly hare. The tortoise wins, but not because the hare decides to sleep on the job. On the contrary, the hare does double duty and reports to the court house to find that the tortoise has won by delivering only one letter.

Well, everyone knows that the letter was from the Council of Lords, granting the tortoise a legal monopoly over the delivery of all letters. So you see, the tortoise won all the customers by official decree.

Check out this and other exciting adventures from the author of The Adventures of Jonathan Gullible, A Free Market Odyssey, a book which Milton Friedman praised saying,

It certainly presents basic economic principles in a very simple and intelligible form. It is an imaginative and very useful piece of work.

Enjoy!

Update: These are obviously libertarian. While I am libertarian-leaning, I disagree with libertarians on a few issues. A couple of these issues are represented in these radio shorts so you might want to listen to them before sharing them with your children (drugs and pornography). I generally assume people would, but then I have started a video or sound file on a site before and found myself quickly turning off the sound because children walked in!

Jonathan Gullible, libertarian, humor

I was raised with the itsy bitsy spider as a role model for perseverance. The plucky little spider may get washed away by a rain storm, but she will not be discouraged. While reciting this popular nursery rhyme with my daughter (2), however, my son (4) gave me new insight into the true mental state of Itsy Bitsy.

Son: That's dumb.

Me: What's dumb?

Son: The spider. Doesn't it know it will get washed out again in the next rain?

My education taught me that doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results was perseverance. Others have said it is the definition of insanity.

Perhaps the spider should have learned from her experience and not be held up for her "perserverance?"

And maybe our school system should stop trying to do the same things harder in order to get different results. Of course that could be said about a lot of things. Who else is spinning webs in drain spouts, expecting anything other than getting washed away in the next rain?

You would think that the mayor had more important things to do than combat the image that he doesn't know who Harry Potter is. Such knowledge is hardly a prerequisite for public service.

But as the mayor says,

The greatest quality of us muggles is that we always muggle through.

I guess. But I would like my leaders to do a bit more than just "muggle through." And reach for foundations set a bit deeper than what can be found in the juvenile section of my local library.

Beutler, Nebraska, Harry Potter, Deathly Hallows

Can you imagine Thomas Jefferson, George Washington or John Adams in meetings with our representatives today? Or what would happen to them if they were to run for office? I've often wondered what our founding fathers would say if they were alive today. The more I read of their writings, however, the more I think their general commentary would be, "I told you so." This, however, might also reflect their general sentiments:


Thanks for the laugh, Ogre.

Three models of multi-purpose butane lighters sold at Wal-Mart under the brand name The Grill Company® have been recalled. They come in several colors (see picture). If you have purchased one of these lighters, discontinue use and contact CFM toll-free at (866) 333-4833 between 9AM and 5PM ET Monday through Friday.

They are missing the following warning label in English:

Failure to follow these instructions could result in injury.

Whoever would have thought a lighter would be flammable? And the sign hanging up at Wal-Mart really did say "discontinue use." Be safe, and please don't catch anyone on fire while waiting for your sticker.

Related Tags: recalls, humor, warning labels

Every so often, someone (half) jokingly wishes that children came with instruction manuals.

My little Peanut didn't, but she did come with a warning label in the form of her older brother. Every time someone comes up to take a peek at her, he puts up his hand and says very authoritatively,