What kind of children's program is this?
I must say that tonight's program at church did not quite meet my expectations.

There was no nose picker, conscientiously cleaning his nasal cavities while oblivious to the audience.

There was no flasher, overcome with the sudden need to show the audience that her little undies were just as pretty as her dress.

No one got pushed off the stage.

No one even ran off to hide behind the plants or wrap themselves up in the flag.

That is to say, my kids must have been listening to me in the car before we got there after all.