Newton's laws of parenting
Sir Isaac Newton was reportedly a virgin, and therefore had no children of his own. Somewhere in his life, however he must have had some experience with children.

Take this bit of famous wisdom, known as Newton's Third Law of Motion:
For every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction.
Around here, it is more commonly known as the Law of Reverse Readiness. The more imperative it is for us to be someplace on time, the more difficult it is to get the children to cooperate. The later we are running, the slower they move. This is especially true when they are excited to go. Then there is a great deal of running about the house, grabbing things, jumping around and not actually accomplishing anything.

Mom says,
Get your swimsuits and a water toy. We have time to go swimming before karate.
Then, insanity ensues.
  • Mouse collects the swimsuits and dumps a box of old clothes looking for a backpack to put them in.
  • Bug dumps the bath toys all over the bathroom, looking for a toy.
  • Bear runs up and down the hall, too excited to really be of any help.
  • I get the baby dressed, and bring her into the front room to put her in her car seat.
This is where I discover that the list of things which need to be done has grown. Rather than "grab your swimsuits," it is now, "pick up the clothes, clean the bathroom, and whatever possessed you to pull all the books off the bookshelf when we are trying to leave?!"

Five minutes stretches to forty five and I begin to wonder if there is indeed time to go swimming.

Newton knew what he was talking about. No wonder he was knighted.